swell

let it out let it in
give a whisper
say my name
just like that
in my ear
oh my my sweet...........
oh my my dear
do that thing
we...........do
can you hear me
I can feel you
from miles away
my head it rings
my heart it races
the rush and flush
my skin is pink
you know I swell
I buckle I may I sway
what if what if I fell
begin to think...........
you better hurry
there has to be.......
can you stay
if we choose
there is a way

confidences

a song, a wind with a tale to tell…

a thought, these thoughts, I always remember so well.

you may see these words and like many, they rattle and ring true;

but dare not think these sounds make me think of you.

no, these things I see, I see from an altered vision,

I put you out; I told you so, but was not for derision.

apt pupils are not the confidences I want to find.

but where and wherefore art those like us, with this strange mind...?

alone.  alone? oh, no …promises that we never are.

we are always so close.  so close! …and yet so far.

try as I may with all my ore and glowing mettle;

the cook still scalds when chef climbs in his kettle.

indoctrinate with stealthy despot steel,

full bellied pot luck hoarders shall have no meal.

patiently I wait… been so long from last time,

when their whispers return to these hounded ears of mine.

if you should doubt, I would laugh but not at last;

for I cannot help that I have seen your past.

history is not forgot but some shrouds are blocked,

I have never been one to have the keys, but keep doors locked.

but no, they do not humor me in this, my infancy.

I long, I want, I wish then instead for apathy.

silently pout and protest as fall prepares to darken days,

then I, ready… for sleep under their dull, cold ways.

so then to end my marked confusion,

oh how weary I become of their pretty illusion.

nothing to see hear... or reason for concern.

yet I cannot reside to die compliant as dust in an urn.

October 2012

withering

even when I'm sleeping
I'm keeping
your hushed hidden counts

in between your dealings
the feelings
I try to stifle, they surmount

life as a ghost
is not for most
I'm waiting
I'm waiting

impatience, one of many faults
cavalier divine assaults
I, deflecting, defeated, delivering

hearts that could not halt
door of your lips, a vault
me lifting, suspending then withering

life as a ghost
is not for most
I'm fading
I'm fading

falling to the earth
was it worth
breathing and this new time-keeping

who knew when I returned
wings I had earned
and memories they were deleting

life as a ghost
is not for most
I'm waiting
I'm waiting

girls are not foretold
or crossed and sold
for silver pieces while heavens thunder

so friends that betray
will live long to see the day
when they fall down and burst asunder

life as a ghost
is not for most
I'm fading
I'm fading

July 2011

blood

maybe I will maybe I won't but.......
yes now I can be blunt
I've tasted blood now I want to hunt
I have this list
shake shake twist twist
do to you what I didn't get to......
been reevaluating
and the weather is indicating
it's going to be warm warm
planning a walk into the swarm
this sting that has stung
makes me simply
committed to more fun

the keys they tick they pick they stick
rewriting rerouting rewiring click click
have I said this all before
you did too and that key is a just door
yes I've heard I am so so so adored

don't tell me I don't want to know
let's just let's just go go
ssssshh... shush.
oh hush hush
how about we rush
lush lush
I want to feel the rush
there's this place where I get flushed
I know I can make you make me
blush blush

maybe I will maybe I won't but.......
yes please do you can be blunt
I've tasted blood now I want to hunt
I have this list
shake shake twist twist
do to you what I didn't get to......
been learning new tricks
and the weather turns me to that fix
there's going to be a swarm swarm
light this fire and blow the alarm
this sting has me stung
used to walk fast now I run run
is this what has to be done

the keys we click they pick will it stick
rewriting rerouting rewiring tick tick
have I said this all before
you did too and that key is a just door
yes I've heard I am so so so adored

oh tell me what I want to know
let's just go with this new flow
ssssshh... shush.
oh hush hush
how about we touch
lush lush
I want to feel the rush
this is where I get a flush
I know how to make you make me
blush blush

out of body

this face I am fronting
this lie in the hunting
game I am playing
a pretty saying
a tasty drink I sway
purposely turn away
for its easy lacing
chasing chasing
in the sheets
pictures pictures
picture this
this again
erase replace
another will I be undoing
fetching you I am catching
cold a sneeze
I will not be falling
you I will not be calling
see this what I am doing
he as me trying new dying wooing
I try to honest be not be fooling
anybody
any body
out of this body
with this or his new body
naughty naughty
this does not change what I had said
because this is all in my head

fix

how to feed this need
want to fill this hole
oh my damned soul
screaming dreaming
fix this fix this fix this fix
my best comes on the wave crest
let you in slide
oh by my side
growling howling
kiss this kiss this kiss this kiss
don't you need to feed
want to fill this hole
oh your damned soul
screaming dreaming
fix this fix this fix this fix

the worst [very short] poem yet

I know poetry
does not have to rhyme
that is how I do it
it helps quiet the voices

December 2012