Betrayer

I know what I saw
and I know who was there
I saw how they looked
I saw how they stared

not allowed to share
but when I dare
the endowed quiet me
sell my life for free
happily with cruelty

no one can care
entering the lair
how can they
most things aren’t fair
so since no one can know
they always go, go...
so GO!

I know what I saw
and I know who was there
I saw how they looked
I saw how they stared

They pulled the restraints
then at the right time
set me free, let me run
out to the thief, the betrayer
the One with the gun

how did you all know?
to throw me down, and to cover
switch and spare my lover
what so speak-
Oh I see
he is not anOther

I remember that night
at the place
in the woods
feet wet with mud
froze where I stood
struck by pine
lost and shook hairs on end
a shiver up my spine
my boys came in with a flash
of a light and a crack of sound
oh my God. not denied
thought we died

I told them about the man
and the gun
and the pound on my door
how my roommate fell first
brains left on the floor

and I felt the cold barrel
at the base of my skull
at my temple, at my chest
how hard I brace
each time, each disgrace
it gets easier to face

by the end, if a knife
I can stab my own heart.
Felt so right
is this real?
Took your hand, put the steel,
between my eyes. “What you got, bitch?
Go AHEAD.
cause I’m already DEAD."

called it in brought me here,
they THEN- let it happen, AGAIN.

I know what I saw
I know who was there
I saw how they looked
I saw how they stared
I remember what was robbed
from me when... who they killed.
what could have been.

the promises, lack luster deals
as well how in hell 

what you sell...
and the seals

I know what I heard
I know who was true
and who was only frightened and new.
I know what I SAW
and I know who was fair
I saw WHO they took
I saw how they cared

one day I will find kindred and of like mind
never to suffer, endure of this kind
now I know
ALONE
I AM so...
and also
NOT meant to GO.